


Three Years

by Jimcloud



Series: Egg RP Future [1]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Based on a roleplay, Dogs, Established Relationship, Introspection, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nonbinary Amami Rantaro, Other, Past Relationship(s), Referenced OCs, Self-Indulgent, this fic does not reflect the author's opinions on saihara shuichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29854959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimcloud/pseuds/Jimcloud
Summary: It's been three years to the day since Rantaro broke up with Shuichi. It wasn't a long period of Rantaro's life, but they're still feeling the impact now.On days like this, Rantaro's just glad they have Kaito.
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Momota Kaito, Amami Rantaro/Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi (past)
Series: Egg RP Future [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2204904
Kudos: 15





	Three Years

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, just in case you're one of those people who don't read tags - this fic is a bit of a continuation of a roleplay setting I did with some friends. and I PROMISE I LIKE SHUICHI A LOT OKAY THIS IS... NOT A STATEMENT ON SHUICHI. but that sure happened.
> 
> There are a couple of references to events in the roleplay but I'm pretty sure everything should make sense even without context. If anything's unclear, let me know! I can try and edit to clarify some.

Amami Rantaro wakes up at eleven in the morning to an empty bed.

...As much as that sounds like the wind-up to a story about how lonely they are, it's not - the warmth of Kaito has long since left the space in bed beside Rantaro, but they still roll over in the sheets to his side and breathe it in. Smells like boyfriend. In their half-awake state, Rantaro traps Kaito's pillow in a vise grip and sighs into it. It feels good to be back in a home that's lived in. It's hard to describe, but its presence is felt oh so keenly by Rantaro, someone who's spent years in a far too empty house. They've been trying to spend more time here, and succeeding for the most part, since Kaito came back from space.

Mmm. Space. Rantaro flops over on bed, turning their head up to all the glow-in-the-dark stars adorning their ceiling. Sure, they're a pale imitation of the real thing, and sure, they're a little kitschy, but Kaito smiled when Rantaro bought them for him, and when Rantaro looks up at them they think of him, so. Rantaro considers that a win.

Rantaro lets out another contented sigh. They're still getting used to Kaito being around the house. Some mornings they wake up and start crying, seeing him here, it's just… surreal, still. They haven't had time to get used to it. It's only been, mm, just about a month. Almost exactly a month, actually.

...Wait,  _ has _ it been a month to the day? He checks his phone, and sure enough, November 29th. It was a little tragic that Kaito came back to Earth on the exact day his parents died, all those years ago, so they sort of postponed the celebration and the talking about everything a bit, but Rantaro didn't mind all that much. The sentiment still got through.

…

Rantaro can't help but feel, in the back of their mind, that today had some other sort of significance to them, but… they can't remember, not really, not as tired as they are. Oh, well, if they've forgotten it's probably not that important… okay, no. They can't even think that with a straight face. They've forgotten  _ so _ many important things, stuff that makes them want to cry just  _ thinking _ about it, even if they really should be better about all this by now.

...Ugh. Pull yourself together, Rantaro. They sit themself up and shuffle out of bed, leaving the sheets as they are. Kaito will probably fix them later, because he's literally too good for this world. That's why they had to send him to space. Haha. Astronaut boyfriend humor.

Anyways. They head into the living room, putting some incense into the incense holder and starting to burn it, cracking open a window as they do. Rantaro's always liked the smell of incense, and Kaito does too, by extension, because it reminds him of them. But he's got asthma, so it's better to burn it when Kaito's not home, like now. Probably he's off doing JAXA business. Lots still to do, and they're keeping him pretty busy.

Ah, well. He deserves it, even if Rantaro does miss him on a cold morning like this, the kind that reminds them winter's right around the corner. They pull out a pan and start heating it up to cook some eggs. It's that kind of day, they think. Kaito taught Rantaro how to cook in their second year of high school, on and off, when Rantaro was home. They tried to be, for Kaito's sake as much as anything, it's just…

Oh.  _ That's _ what today is.

Rantaro cracks an egg into the skillet with a frown, and then another. It's already going to be one of those days, they can tell, and they're going to need every ounce of egg to get through it.   


Mmm. Now that they're thinking about it, Rantaro turns around and sees this apartment in a whole other light. They'd gotten it with Kaito as a place for them to stay, after Kaito's homophobic-ass granddad had kicked him out, almost three and a half years ago. It's close to the airport, and close to a bus stop and a train station by extension, so the two of them don't really need a car to get around. Neither of them can stand the damned things, so it's for the best, really.

The crowdedness of taking trains from next to the airport all the time… well, Rantaro's getting there. His claustrophobia isn't as bad as it was back when they first got the place together.

...Together.

"Together," back then, meant something a little different. Rantaro frowns at the memory, leaning back against the counter while their eggs sizzle, which is a weird smell to intermingle with incense, but Rantaro's not paying all that much attention to it.

...Back then,  _ together _ meant Rantaro, Kaito, and Shuichi, and that had been true for far longer even than the apartment. You can see it in their bed, big enough for three. In the coffee maker - expensive - that the two of them use only occasionally, but that used to see a lot more wear.

_ Ugh. _ Rantaro doesn't know why they're focusing so hard on it, now. Shuichi didn't even  _ use _ this apartment very much. Back when they were at school, they mostly just used it on break, or when Rantaro needed to be at the airport at ass o'clock in the morning and didn't feel like getting a ride from Hope's Peak Academy to get there.

Rantaro thinks that maybe they're just  _ looking _ for reasons to remember Shuichi, now. With another, more frustrated sigh, they unlock their phone and flip through old text messages with a contact labeled "Don't," because, as ever, Rantaro of years past had more sense about this than the Rantaro of the present day.

And it's…

Mmm.

You'd think that the worst part of going through old texts with your ex would be, you know,  _ your ex, _ but it's not, not really. It's not always the best, and Rantaro's got to cringe a little at some of Shuichi's old statements, but for the most part, what gets Rantaro is themself. The outpouring of love for someone who Rantaro's, at best, apathetic towards now. Words that Rantaro would never find themself saying today. For all intents and purposes, the Rantaro of then was a whole other person than the one they're looking at now.

...Or maybe they're just being dramatic.

Rantaro's index finger taps over an old group text when they realize, suddenly, that they have left their eggs alone a  _ little _ too long while being a sentimental, melancholy piece of garbage.  _ Hello. _ Egg time. Rantaro pulls a plate and fork out of the cupboards and carefully removes their sunny side up gentlemen from the skillet. Aaaand  _ perfect. _ Rantaro can't help a small surge of pride as they put some pepper on eggs that they've cooked  _ themself. _ Like.  _ They _ did that. Look at them, all self-sufficient. They only order takeout food  _ half _ the time, these days! High school Rantaro could  _ never. _

They grin to themself as they pull out ketchup from the fridge and take it and the eggs to the couch in the adjoining space, plopping them down on the coffee table before plopping themself down on said couch. Mmm. The eggs are just a  _ bit _ toastier on the bottom than Rantaro likes them, but nothing to blame that on except Rantaro being more of a space case than their boyfriend, who is a much more literal space case.

Hee. That's more astronaut boyfriend humor. Kaito always says he's sick of it, but he laughs anyway. That's marriage for you.

...Rantaro would like to be married to Kaito, someday. They talk about it, occasionally, but it hasn't come up too much since Kaito left for space. There was sort of an unspoken agreement that the two of them wouldn't do anything like that until Kaito went to space, until Rantaro found all their missing sisters.

And…

Well, Rantaro  _ hasn't _ found all their missing sisters, a thought that turns this perfect egg meal a little bitter in their mouth, despite everything. They've done well, is what Kaito keeps telling them, and Miu in her inimitable way, and Mukuro in hers, and Kokichi in his, and Ibuki in… hers, why are all of Rantaro's friends fucking weirdos.

Anyways.

Rantaro's sisters are… well, if they were rounding up, they'd be found. Of the twelve of them, Ranaro's found nine. Three out of four is a passing grade. If finding sisters were an exam, they'd be breathing a sigh of relief.

But it's not. Rui and Koharu and Kikuko (god, Kikuko) are still out there. And Rantaro's sisters, the ones who are back home, they miss Rantaro - or a version of them, at any rate, a person that hasn't really existed in nearly a decade - but they know that Rantaro  _ has _ to do this,  _ has _ to find them. And Kaito does, too. It's…

Rantaro nabs their eggs a little more forcefully at a memory, splattering ketchup on their nose accidentally. They wrinkle it a little before wiping the ketchup off their nose with a finger and sticking it in their mouth. Mmm.

Where were they? Oh. Shuichi. Right. That was one of the things about Shuichi. It wasn't that Shuichi didn't want Rantaro to find their sisters - he did. In fact, he was responsible for Rantaro finding Kei, and he was there when they found Mahoko, too, but… there was something  _ about _ it.

Now, Rantaro can't say they were always the best about searching responsibly, and especially back when they knew Shuichi (or within the past six months, as half a dozen fresh scars since Kaito did the moonwalk will attest), they took a lot of stupid, shitty risks. But there was a way Shuichi treated it, treated searching - he acted like he  _ had _ to be there to help Rantaro, like Rantaro couldn't handle themself, but at the same time he'd put whatever the current, latest issue was above Rantaro's searching. It's not as if Rantaro  _ needed _ Shuichi to come with all the time. If he didn't want to go, he could say that, instead of will they or won't they stringing Rantaro along. It wouldn't have upset them, but… Shuichi could never shoot straight, not with either of them.

At the end of the day, really, that was sort of  _ the _ problem, moreso than anything with searching. Shuichi could never be honest about anything emotional or stressful, not without serious toil on Rantaro or Kaito's parts. Sometimes toil on both of their parts. And while Kaito and Rantaro were working on their issues, Shuichi just… wasn't. And not for lack of trying, or lack of opportunity, just… mmm, on the worst days, it felt like Shuichi didn't  _ want _ to get better. Like he wanted all of Rantaro's and Kaito's love and attention, and once he had it, he would be satisfied until he lost it, and then he'd want it again.

...That's probably pretty mean of Rantaro to think. It's not like they never did things like that. When they were in middle school, when the loss of their sisters felt like a gaping, bleeding wound, they would take and take in their relationships. It was the only way they knew how to cope, but…

But  _ god. _ Shuichi always seemed, not overtly, but just…  _ subtly _ upset every time Kaito needed Rantaro's attention more than Shuichi did, or the other way around. It took Rantaro months to see it - later than Kaito - but once they  _ did, _ they saw it everywhere, and they just didn't know what to do.

Thinking about it, the last few months of their relationship, hurts. Shuichi's and Rantaro's birthdays were high points before things got worse again, like they do in bad relationships. Because when it's  _ good, _ it's so  _ easy _ to forget when things were bad, but then they always get bad again, and it's always so much  _ worse. _

Kaito always used to say, looking back on it, he should have realized when Shuichi lying to them gave Rantaro a PTSD episode. When Rantaro, freshly stabbed, was ready to break into Kirigiri's office to find info on Shuichi. He was too afraid to own up to his lies to talk about where he'd been that day, so he'd ghosted them and avoided the school. Rantaro was so scared Shuichi'd gotten lost that they almost hurt themself or, hell, Kaito to find him. Rantaro finds it hard to be so upset about that, considering he doesn't even remember it, but he trusts Kaito's judgment.

For Rantaro… it'll always be that Shuichi wasn't there for the anniversary of the worst day of Kaito's life. He gets shaky all October, but it just gets worse and worse as it builds closer to Halloween. But things always seemed to get between the two of them. Much as Kaito tried to share, he couldn't with the barriers Shuichi put up. And Shuichi… well, Rantaro's not sure he tried, but trying or not, Shuichi wasn't there for Kaito. And that, alone, is enough for Rantaro to say he couldn't handle having Shuichi as a partner.   
  
In retrospect, it's a little embarrassing it took them a whole month after that to break up with him, but they were both lovestruck fools, and it is what it is.

…

As Rantaro finishes his eggs, they realize their leg is bouncing. Really, their whole body is filled with pent-up, frustrated energy, the sort of thing that needs an outlet. Tempted as they are to just run out the door,  _ no, _ they are a  _ domestic _ bitch, and a domestic bitch does not leave a bunch of dishes in the sink. So Rantaro picks themself up, takes their plate and chopsticks and skillet and spatula, and hand washes them in the sink. They have a dishwasher, and it's not like Rantaro's afraid to use it, but for a little meal like this, it's fine to just manually clean things. Plus it gives them a way to start to burn some of that energy.

Rantaro finishes up, dries and puts everything away, but they're still antsy. Well, nothing for it. Rantaro strides back into their and Kaito's room to put on enough layers that they can go out walking in this weather.

Rantaro's done this for a long time, even before they lost their sisters, just… sometimes, when they got antsy or emotional, they would go out walking. Back then, though, it was usually just walking around the estate. Nowadays, it's more of a walking around the town thing. Rantaro prefers it that way. As much as there's an appeal to seeing nature, appreciating the quiet and the majesty of a place totally devoid of people, Rantaro just… likes people, despite everything. They like taking in couples passing by on the sidewalk, watching cars and buses drive by, studying all sorts of people and seeing a glimpse of who they are and what they're doing. There's a lot you can tell about a person just by looking at them… though maybe a little more in the summer months. Everybody's starting to bundle up, now.

Man. Winter. Not Rantaro's favorite season, for  _ so _ many reasons. But… it'll be okay. Kaito will be there for them when they need it. He always is, like Rantaro always is for him. It's give and take, like any relationship should be.

Wherever Shuichi is now, Rantaro really hopes he's learned his lesson on that one.

Rantaro shakes his head and clears those thoughts out of his mind. He's not going on these walks to overthink things. He sighs and lets it go, like everything else. That's the best part of going on walks, letting things go, disappearing into the whole. In a big city like Tokyo, it's easy to feel like nothing, just a nerve or a blood cell in the body that is the city. And next to a whole city, what are Rantaro's problems, really? Nothing. There's something soothing in that.

…

Rantaro snaps out of their reverie when they pass by a jewelry store, their eyes catching on some of the rings on display and kickstarting their brain again. They have to take a second to cope with their legs, the slight ache telling them they've been at this for probably at least a few hours. Kaito's probably back home by now.

...Kaito, huh.

Rantaro skims the rings a second time, a small smile crossing their face. Before Kaito went to space, they always used to talk about after they finished their commitments, what they'd do then. But the thing is, finding Rantaro's sisters, the three still missing, could take a lifetime. And Rantaro loves Kaito. Really, they do.

He's not a very ostentatious person, Kaito, despite everything. Rantaro's pretty sure he wouldn't know what to do with a big, flashy kind of ring, and he wouldn't want Rantaro spending that kind of money on it anyways. So Rantaro opts for a simple gold band. They think they'll get  _ starlight _ etched on it later. Just the sort of little personal touch Kaito will appreciate. Then they leave the store, text Kaito they're on the way home (he says he has a surprise? If he  _ also _ got a ring Rantaro will be very upset but will laugh very hard), and work on finding the nearest train station to where they're at.

Sure, it's only been a few hours, but Rantaro misses their boyfriend. Sue them.

The train ride is short, but Rantaro's buzzing with energy, happy and anxious (mostly from the claustrophobia, but not completely) all the way over. He practically runs to their apartment, giving it the old double knock before going i-

Was-

Was that a bark? Like, from a dog?

Rantaro hears a somewhat harried, "you're ruining the surprise," before he actually opens the door enough to see Kaito at once holding in his hands and physically restraining a puppy. Which, well, okay, Kaito. Rantaro supposes that clears up the whole  _ surprise _ bit well enough.

"Okay,  _ so, _ " Kaito puffs out a breath in a way Rantaro finds very endearing as they close the door, "remember how I used to talk about wanting to get a dog after I came back from space?"

"Uh huh," Rantaro nods, already endeared enough by Kaito's opening that the man could probably get away with murder at this point.

Kaito shifts his hands a little as the dog tries to squirm out of his hold. "Well… I was walking down the road, and I saw this box, right, you know,  _ puppies - take one? _ "

"That really happens?" The words are out of Rantaro's mouth before they can think about it, laughing to themself.

"It  _ does! _ " Kaito gets all pouty and Rantaro softens immediately. "I knelt down and this little guy jumped right into my arms! He was well behaved  _ all _ the way back," he pauses to squint at Rantaro, "right up until you knocked on the door, anyway."

Rantaro chuckles, shaking their head. "Oh, so now it's  _ my _ fault, is it?" They grin as they walk over, holding their arms out for the dog. Kaito loosens his grip and it immediately squirms over, sniffing Rantaro's face. Their eyes widen a little. It's still got that puppy fluff…

Kaito laughs a little too. He brings his hand up to rub the back of his neck. "Was thinking about naming him Mr. Suave, but I dunno how suave a dog can be, really. So I called him Tamago instead." His face brightens. "He's a german shepherd!"

"Tamago?" Rantaro glances between… Tamago… and Kaito. "You're deadass going to name this poor child egg and call it a day?"

"You would've preferred Mr. Suave?" Kaito counters, immediately, grinning.

Rantaro narrows his eyes. "Bastard. You'd make this poor infant all confused." He scratches… sigh, Tamago, behind the ears. He seems to enjoy it. "You can't call him  _ and _ me that."   
  
Kaito raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, that's why I decided against it."

"So you're just gonna make him get all confused when you make sunny side up, instead." Rantaro shakes their head. "Fine, Tamago it is, but I get to name whatever we name next."

Kaito's eyes widen. "So we can keep him?"

Rantaro tilts their head, a touch confused. They… hadn't even thought that was being called into question. "What, did you want me to be all," Rantaro clears their throat, pitching their voice up, " _ Kaito, raising a dog is a lot of responsibility… _ "

"You sound like my Gran," Kaito says, shaking his head and smiling. It's good he can say that now, like it's not a big deal. It's been a few years since he got disowned, but… still, Rantaro worries sometimes.

Rantaro scoffs. "If you're taking care of the dog, I don't have a problem with it. I can be the cool parent who just comes back to spoil him every so often."

"Hey," Kaito pouts, "does that mean I gotta be the strict one?"

"Someone's gotta toilet train him," Rantaro chuckles, letting the little scamp down. Be free, gremlin.

Kaito sighs dramatically, watching him dart off into the bedroom. "Yeah, okay," he says. He takes a moment to straighten up before looking back at Rantaro a little curiously. "So what were you doing out on the town?" he asks, a touch quieter.

Rantaro suspects Kaito's already guessed what Rantaro was doing. It's still a bit of a new feeling, even after all this time. Being seen by someone who isn't family. Rantaro likes it, though.

Rantaro smiles, genuinely, rubbing the back of their head. "I was out walking, clearing my head. You know how it is."

Kaito nods, though he still looks a little bit pensive. "Is everything good?"

…

Yeah, Rantaro realizes, as Kaito asks. Everything  _ is _ good. They're here, right where they want to be, and this, this is happiness, Rantaro thinks. It's not perfect - Rantaro's sisters are still out there, Kaito's still coping with coming back down to Earth, they have a hundred little worries each, let alone everything else. But here, right now, the two of them have a good thing.

And Rantaro's happier without Shuichi, he thinks.

"Yeah," Rantaro's smile grows, as he walks over and pulls Kaito into an embrace, "I'm doing great, actually."

The ring Rantaro bought is burning a hole in his pocket. He'll wait for the best moment.

Not right now. But soon.


End file.
